Introduction and Welcome!

My name is Laura Bungarz. I’m on a little bit of a journey and I’ve decided to start blogging about it. But it’s not just my journey. It’s the journey of many people right now. It’s a spiritual journey. It’s a journey of awakening and healing.

I’ve created this blog, not just for sharing my own journey, but because I’m beginning the process of blogging a book! At the end of this process, I will have a finished book published on Amazon and wherever else I can put it.

What’s the book about you ask?

It’s about the processing of spiritual awakening. If you’ve followed me for any length of time you’ll know that I’ve been on this spiritual journey for about 6 years. I’ve learned a lot along the way and I’m wanting to share it with those around me.

Most of us start this journey through pain and trauma. We come at it the hard way in many respects. I certainly took this path 6 years ago. It’s in the pain and heartbreak that our awareness begins to shift. We begin to question whether this is all life is about. Are we here just to hurt, pay bills and die? Is there more to this ride we call life?

The answer is an unequivocal YES! But it’s up to us to find that purpose and meaning and then use it to improve ourselves and our lives. It’s a process of healing all the old wounds and trauma we carry around with us. It’s a process of getting okay with who we are, letting the people around us off the hook and allowing ourselves to be okay in the process. We aren’t victims. Once we learn that, the process of taking control over our lives begins.

The book I’m writing is called “Awake, Broke Confused, Now What?“. If you’re on this spiritual path you’re probably somewhere in one of those four categories. Regardless of where you are along this path, there will be something here for you. The book will either be a reminder of how far you’ve come, a kick in the pants to keep going, or a guide to help you navigate more easily. Whatever it does for you, I hope you’ll join me as I blog this book.

I’ll be posting up to 3 times a week with another portion of the book. You’ll be able to read along with me as I write. Please comment, share and stay in touch. I’ll put all my links below! Don’t forget to subscribe to this blog too! It would really help me if you did!

Subscribe below so you know when the next post comes out!

Continue Reading

Holding a Grudge

The opposite of forgiveness is holding a grudge against someone. When we do this, we hold on to the anger or pain of what the other person did and we hold it against them. We carry around all this pain and anger thinking we’re hurting the other person with it. But of course, this is not the case. The only one affected is the one carrying around the pain and anger. The other person doesn’t care at all. Why do we do this to ourselves?

As humans, we are taught to use emotional pain as a weapon. We use it to both protect and defend ourselves depending on the situation. When we hold onto pain and anger directed at somebody else it becomes a weapon to use against them. When we get hurt and we close off, the emotional pain becomes a defence mechanism. It’s how we protect ourselves.

Nobody likes to feel pain and trauma. We’d rather not have those experiences at all. It’s not the experience itself that’s the problem. All experience, from a spiritual perspective, is neutral. So the problem is not the experience it’s what we do with the pain associated with the experience that can become the problem. If we allowed the emotion to flow through after a painful event, eventually it would be released, the pain would subside, and we’d feel better. But we don’t do this, we tend to want to bury emotions that are overwhelming either because they feel out of control or because we don’t know what to do with them. So, we hold onto the pain and use it to defend ourselves from future attacks instead.

These strategies that we get taught which are meant to help us, actually do us a disservice. They keep us stuck in these emotional patterns and ways of being. We get bogged down in the energy of old painful experiences. We bog ourselves down to protect ourselves, but we really only hurt ourselves more. As we hold onto things, we begin to respond from that wounded place. We begin to act as victims. We don’t allow ourselves to have certain experiences anymore because we are afraid of the emotional trauma that might come with the experience.

Forgiveness removes the emotional fortress we build up around ourselves. That’s a scary prospect if we’ve been carrying the same pain with us for many years. It can feel very vulnerable to forgive and allow ourselves to be free from the things we carry around.

The process starts from recognizing that removing the emotional walls doesn’t mean we’re opening ourselves up to more pain. It just means recognizing that the emotional fortress is hurting us more than any new pain could or would. It comes down to asking the question, how is this pain I’m holding on to helping me? If your answer is that it’s keeping you safe, look again. More than likely, it’s keeping you stuck and hurt.

Subscribe below so you know when the next post comes out!

Continue Reading

Mental Gymnastics

While the ultimate goal may be forgiveness, we can do what I call mental gymnastics, to help ourselves get over some of these hurdles without having to navigate the forgiveness path right away. It doesn’t mean we get to avoid it forever, but this can be helpful in allowing ourselves to get to a place where forgiveness becomes a valid option.

Mental gymnastics is what I refer to as the fine art of debating with yourself. It’s rationalizing yourself out of your own logic. It’s getting around all the things you think you know to be true and finding new logic that makes more sense and makes the path easier to navigate. I like to do this as a string of questions that we find our own answers to. Just keep circulating through the questions until something clicks for you. Often, it’ll help you find all the sticking points that are stopping you from being able to consider forgiveness. Sometimes it even leads to things we weren’t aware were a problem at all. Apply the questions below to your own situation.

  1. What do I think is true about my situation right now?
  2. What do I think is my responsibility in this situation? Essentially, what’s mine?
  3. What do I have control over in this situation?
  4. What are the other people in this situation responsible for and what do they have control over? (This is the stuff we can’t control. If dropping this stuff is hard to do, explore that. Why do you need to take responsibility for and control things you don’t have control over?)
  5. How do I feel about the things that I perceive to be mine? Am I ashamed? Do I feel guilty? Am I mad? Hurt? Confused?
  6. Why do I feel that way about those things?
  7. Based on who I was when this situation happened, could I have done better then? (The honest answer here is that you couldn’t have done better. You did the best you could from where you were at the time. However, dig into this a little bit, because chances are you think you could have or should have done better. Explore that. This is likely where the sticking point to healing and forgiveness is.)
  8. Is there anything I’m able to let go of now?

Continue to explore these questions using any new perspectives gained each time you answer them. Try this now in your journal with whatever topic or event is currently affecting you.

Using the mental gymnastics approach is a very logical way to deal with difficult topics and events. Each time you move through the logical process it helps to provide clarity. The clarity makes it easier to chip away at the emotional aspects of these same events, often the emotional charge falls away on its own once the clarity is gained. Over time, and with enough work, forgiveness happens more naturally. it doesn’t have to be forced and we don’t have to relive the entire event over and over again. The process is simpler and less painful.

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Continue Reading

Forgiveness

This path is hard, and forgiveness can be even harder. Anybody that is on this path right now will tell you that. There is a lot of pain that gets triggered as we go through this process of awakening. We start to see where well-meaning parents, caregivers and teachers passed on their own wounds to us. We start to see where we sabotage ourselves. We start to see where we messed up and how we could have done better. We get a better sense of ourselves and as we do that, every mistake we have ever made floats to the surface.

This is usually the spot where we start blaming ourselves for everything. We can be very hard on ourselves for everything that’s happened in our lives. We may start to wonder if we’re good enough or if we can change it or be better than we were. The answer is, of course, yes, we can. It starts with forgiveness of self. It starts with letting ourselves off the hook. It’s the realization that at every moment, regardless of what was going on, we were doing the best we could. It may not seem very good to us from where we are now, but it was the best we could do then and that has to be okay.

Forgiveness gets to be a little bit of a trigger word in spiritual circles. It’s the first response anyone has when asked how to deal with something. “Forgive yourself, forgive the other person. Just let it go.” For most of us, that’s not an easy task. Letting ourselves and the people around us off the hook is a complicated thing that can take a lot of time to do. So, what’s the alternative? How do we approach this differently?

It’s important to recognize that forgiveness is the last step in the process of healing, not the first one. To get to a place where we’re able to forgive, we have to be able to drop the story. We have to be able to get okay with what happened, and that doesn’t mean liking what happened, it’s just acceptance. This thing happened and I can’t go back and change it. Once we get to a place of acceptance, we let go of the story of what happened and then we work through the associated emotions around the event. Only then can we start to forgive ourselves and others.

Forgiveness becomes a trigger for people because it gets viewed as the only step. Forgiveness is the answer to everything. Unfortunately, it doesn’t allow people the opportunity to feel their emotions and work through things properly. Forgiveness becomes a process of denying things instead of dealing directly with them. Squishing it down and forgetting it happened is not forgiveness.

When we allow emotions to flow like water, they are released and not held on to by the human. They are free to come and go as needed. This way, memories are just images or videos with no sound, there is no emotion tied to them. The emotion is the trigger point of a memory. It’s the thing that causes the pain. The release or flow of emotion means the memory no longer has a trigger point. This makes forgiveness a much simpler process.

Humans are taught early on to hold on to their emotions. Children are often told not to cry when things happen. Not crying when we get hurt is a perceived sign of strength. It is a weakness however because when we hold on to these emotions, they stay in the body and they make us sick. That sore knee or back is stuck emotional energy that was never released. Feeling better requires releasing all of that stuck emotional energy. It requires expressing it, including crying and only then can we feel better, only then can we forgive.

Continue Reading

What is Awakening?

Chances are you’ve heard the term before. “Awakened or awakening” is a term that we use to describe a group of people who become aware of themselves as soul or spirit beings instead of just the human mind and ego identification we are all so familiar with. But what does that really mean?

The first step is understanding that you are a spirit in a body. The body is a vehicle for your spirit to drive around in while hanging out on and exploring planet Earth. The human form is meant to be temporary but the spirit lives on forever, simply going back to where it came from once the human form dies.

We are all aware of the voice in our heads that talks to us. It’s usually mean to us but not always. It likes to tell us how awful we are, how we screwed up that day, how we need to lose 10 pounds and how not good at things we are. It’s that voice that talks incessantly about nothing. It never seems to have anything good to say either. It’s like that mean friend that you keep around just because you feel some sense of loyalty to that person. But why do we hang on to that mean friend? Why can’t that mean friend just stop talking for a while?

Part of this spiritual process is recognizing that the mean friend that is the voice in your head, is just trying to keep you safe. That voice doesn’t want us to get hurt. It doesn’t want us to make mistakes. It doesn’t want us to do anything we’re not completely comfortable and confident doing. It keeps us in our comfort zone and will try to make sure life doesn’t change very much. It’ll keep you in the same house, driving the same car, eating the same food for your entire life if you let it.

The other part of this journey is realizing that we can shut off the voice in our heads but also that there is another quieter voice that most of us don’t listen to and can’t hear over the constant chatter in our minds. The quiet voice is our spirit talking to us. It’s telling us to do the scary stuff, to jump out of our comfort zone, to try that new thing or to go exploring somewhere. Most people don’t listen to that quiet voice, even when they can hear it, because it is scary and often not really logical. What does that small voice tell you to do that you’re not doing? If you can’t hear it yet, sit quietly and listen. Ask it what it wants to tell you. Write down what comes up in your journal.

The establishment of the connection with our spirit self-sets off a firestorm of questions that we don’t have answers to yet. We start looking around us and realizing that things don’t make sense anymore. We aren’t what we thought we were. We are different already and the only thing we did was notice there was another path to take and another part of ourselves that we hadn’t completely acknowledged before.

Questions arise like:

  • Why am I here?
  • What’s the point of all this?
  • Is there more to life than just paying bills and dying?
  • What’s is the truth?
  • What are my beliefs?
  • Who am I?

The list of questions is long but worth the effort to explore. Things are not as they appear. The life we’ve been told to lead is not necessarily the one we should be living. This book is going to attempt to dive into some of those questions more deeply. Asking questions like this is one of the keys to the process of awakening and the healing that comes with it.

There are many pieces to the puzzle of awakening. The new few blogs attempt to talk about each of those pieces and ask some questions about how those things are showing up for us in our individual experiences.

Subscribe below to be notified every time there is a new blog post!

Continue Reading

Do You Write?

As a teenager I loved to write. I would do it all the time. Of course, back in the day we didn’t have things like social media to distract us. So it was either watch television or find something to do. One of the things I used to do most often was write. I’d write everything from poetry to non-fiction. Being a published author was definitely on my list of things to do and I’ve had a handful of things published over the years. I even had an article published in Readers Digest many years ago.

As I became an adult, life got busier, Facebook and the Internet happened and I dropped writing. It’s something I’ve been called to though. As I’ve learned, often those hobbies we had as children and dropped as life got in the way, are still the things that bring us the most joy. Usually those things are creative endeavours too. It’s things like writing, drawing and music that are our hearts’ desires. It’s just a matter of tapping into them again as adults and letting that creative side come out to be explored.

I could just write the book. The blog is unnecessary. Doing it this way is optional, but I want to. I follow another author who wrote about the concept of blogging a book, something she had done for one of her books. It struck me as a fun idea. It’s a way to put content out there, create some sort of accountability for myself and have fun too. Getting feedback along the way, having people ask questions about what’s being written, talking about the content in more detail, are all amazing ways to write a book that hopefully inspires others to tap into their own creative side.

What do you do for a fun creative outlet?
Or, what did you do as a child that you don't do anymore? Why aren't you doing it?

This spiritual path is tough. It’s not easy to walk this path and navigate the world as we know it to be right now. That’s why this book is being created. There are so many questions I had when I first started this journey that I figured a guide to how to navigate it would be helpful to others. This book is all the things I wish somebody would have told me 6 years ago when I awakened. I’ve already written a bit of it and I’ll be sharing what is already created over the coming weeks. I still have more to write and I’ll be putting my time into that as well.

Expect to see some blogs from me that are more about this process and what’s been happening with the book. I’m looking forward to sharing more and hopefully interacting with all of you that are reading this.

Thanks so much for joining me on this journey.

Until next time…

Laura

Subscribe below and I’ll send you an email when a new blog post goes up! It’s the easiest way to keep in touch and not miss anything!

Continue Reading

Awake: Introduction

Welcome to awakening! This is a remarkable journey we’re about to explore. When we awaken, we examine all aspects of ourselves and our lives. We look at what’s working and what’s not, who is still in our lives and whether or not we need to let them go, our job and whether it fulfills us or is more of a soul-crushing experience, we look at who we are, where we’re going and how we got here. It requires a huge level of honesty and commitment to do this work. The promise I can give though, is that it is as rewarding as anything ever could be. This journey is not for the faint of heart, but it is so very worth the effort.

The first question people ask is, “How are spirituality and awakening different from religion?” Organized religion gives us a direction. It tells us what we should believe, why we should believe it and the bad things that will happen if we don’t believe it. Religion provides very little room for interpretation as the work is all done for you. Just blindly follow and you will be told what to do.

Spirituality is the creative expression of what it means to believe in a higher power of some kind. Whether you believe in God, Buddha, Source, the Universe, or something else, spirituality is the belief that we are created from the same cloth as that higher power. It is the belief that we get to choose what we want to create. We get to choose what we want to believe, and the Universe will show us that belief in our current realities. It is the belief that we are divine beings of light sent here to learn, grow, and experience life on this planet we call Earth. It is the belief that God is not some guy in the sky with anger management problems that needs therapy, but that God is unconditional love, acceptance, and joy. There is no judgement. There is no anger. There is no punishment. Those things cannot exist in a being that can express unconditional love.

We have, as human beings, been given human free will. That means we get to decide what happens. People often ask why God doesn’t stop the perceived bad stuff from happening. It’s because God doesn’t interject in human free will, no matter how good or bad the activity is perceived to be by us.

You’re probably wondering if a belief in a higher power is necessary in order to be spiritual. The answer is no. A simple belief in yourself and your ability to create whatever you want while on this planet is enough. Throughout this book I will refer to the Universe as the higher power. I find the term “God” to be a trigger for many people and so I will use “Universe” instead. Just substitute that word for whatever word you want to use. Don’t let it affect you in your journey through this book.

My intention with this book is simple: to provide a guide through this crazy process and hopefully help you, the reader, to answer some of the many questions that will come up along the way. This is a journey of self-discovery, one filled with potholes, twists, and turns. Everybody that goes through this comes out differently on the other side. You will be no exception.

My hope for you is that you find clarity, insight, and wisdom in this book. I’m far from perfect, and like everybody else, I’m still on the journey too, but I’ve learned some things along the way that I think will help you on your journey. Whether you’re new to this or you’ve been at it for a while, I invite you to join me as we step into this process of awakening and what it all means. Come back tomorrow with a cup of coffee, journal and pen in hand as we get started on this journey of awakening.

Subscribe below so you know when the next blog post comes out!

Continue Reading